Fellas, I know it's hard out there for you too. Miami women are definitely a lot to handle and a relationship with us is not for the faint of heart. This girl hasn't met a VIP section she didn't love. She strives to meet a baller who will impregnate her. She dreams of being Lil Wayne's fifth baby momma.
So you better be poppin' multiple bottles of Ace of Spades Champagne to get her attention. The kind of girl that Kanye was rapping about If your salary isn't in the six figures and your car didn't cost more than a small country, don't even bother looking shorty's way. She doesn't discriminate by age or race, just by dolla dolla bills, y'all. Also known as the daddy's girl or the spoiled brat. She grew up getting everything she wanted, so you better prepare for a lifetime of bending to her will.
It's her way or the highway and there will be dire consequences if everything isn't to her liking. Imagine Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka. Then multiply that by 1, and you have Miami's Prissy Princess. The type of gal that takes hours to get ready for a date. Not because she actually needs the time, just because she likes making you wait.
Sure, she likes the material things, but she mostly gets off on being a diva. She'll make out with you at Blackbird or Purdy and say you can hit it Because the tease wields her power and she wields it well. She'll get you all hot and bothered and then unceremoniously drop you.
She probably learned the art of teasing while at Lourdes or St. Brendan and has frustrated a whole lot of men along the way.
She goes to Vixen Workout twice a week to learn how to bring all the boys to the yard. A maneater of sorts, she jumps from fling to fling like a scandalous little butterfly. You'll often find the attention whore dancing on top of an elevated surface pizza counter, bar, pool table, etc. No attention is bad attention. Nip slip? Homegirl owns it. Accidentally flashes her vajay to the cab driver? Absolutely no shame. And if she spots a stripper pole, get out of her damn way. We already have this email.
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And words can break the ice! It can be hard to introduce yourself to a single you find interesting; it is always difficult to find the right way to approach them and find THE message that will attract their attention. In dating first impressions count, and the first words you exchange online can make all the difference. But rest assured, people generally prefer good humour to good looks on a first date, and they want someone with whom they can share an interesting conversation.
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She came, she saw, she paraded around South Beach for 30 years, she conquered. Now, she has retired. Shelley Novak, the alter ego of Massachusetts-born Tommy Strangie, has been a staple in the drag community of Miami Beach since , helping to pave the way for performers who blur the lines of femininity by pairing heels and gowns with body hair and five o'clock shadows.
She gave us the Shelley Novak Awards, which has hung around since to recognize well-known and up-and-coming names in South Florida's drag scene.
And as she leaves Miami for what she says will be last time there have been several false alarms , she takes a piece of drag history with her. In Shelley's wake are a growing number of avant-garde artists who proudly carry on her legacy of neither shaving nor caring about what people believe drag should look like.
Amid the pandemic, some creatives got, well, more creative. Juggerknot Theatre Company debuted its virtual immersive theater experience, Long Distance Affair, in In , the company was back for another iteration that proved even more enticing than the first. Audiences from anywhere around the globe — and we do mean anywhere — were able to join this virtual live theater show to watch performances by actors in completely different time zones.
In each city, a local actor staged an inspiring ten-minute performance. It's not easy to portray emotions on a physical set with audiences sitting a few feet away. Actors for Long DIstance Affair had to reach out and grab their audience through a screen. And that they did, beautifully. Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami. Get the latest updates in news, food, music and culture, and receive special offers direct to your inbox.
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